and the collision of your kiss

2008-02-06T23:53:00.000+08:00

Happy Lunar New Year to all the folks back home! I've just finished my spring cleaning - did my laundry that was spilling out of my laundry bag, threw away all the rubbish in my room, vacuumed, made the bed, washed all my dirty dishes - and now I'm all ready to usher in the new year!

Updates coming soon!

2007-12-01T05:56:00.000+08:00

Christmas is coming and that means the end of 2007 is near.

Thinking back, 2007 has not been easy for me. Never have i felt such despair and frustration. But there is always a light at the end of the tunnel and i believe that it's here.

2007-10-16T07:42:00.001+08:00

Being in London does have it's up side. I'm thoroughly enjoying attending lectures again, catching up with friends i've not spoken to over the summer, taking care of myself (sometimes), having late night conversations and suppers with my girl gang....and the list goes on and on.

There are dull moments where i miss home, my family and friends...but it's something i've learnt to deal with over the past 2 years.

I've not been taking that many photos over the past year but I managed to take some last week.
Here's some pictures taken at Nish's 20 birthday bash :)

2007-10-09T13:41:00.000+08:00

So i'm back in London.
I wonder what this year will bring.
Last year was really tough for me.
Alot of changes - extreme happiness, extreme sadness, extreme anger, extreme disappointment....

I just hope this academic year will go smoothly for Marcus and I.
I hope Marcus gets everything he is aiming for.
I hope I get the one thing I want.

2007-08-25T01:03:00.000+08:00

Marcus picked me up on Thursday and we scooted over to maxwell market for lunch. After trawling through the place, we finally decided on having Chicken rice. The queue was so damn long and we had to wait a good 30 minutes just to get our food! It's amazng the extent a Singaporean would go to get good food, myself included. But it was well worth the wait. The chicken breast was amaingly tender, the rice was so fragrant and each grain of rice was coated in all the chickeny fatty goodness that makes chicken rice...well, chicken rice. By the end of it, we were both perspiring like dogs. Partly due to the garlic chilli and partly due to the stifling heat.

We decided to take refuge from the heat in his car...but not before getting some dessert. We managed to get our hands on the famous tapioca cake which we feasted upon while blasting the A/C in his car. Man, it was good.

I wish all my lunches could be like this.

2007-08-23T11:00:00.000+08:00

Today's my anniversary. I remember telling Marcus that we should stop celebrating monthlies after the first year, but somehow we never did. We still eagerly wait till midnight just so we can be the first to call and wish the other person happy anniversary and we always make it a point to make the day special, whether it be dinner, kind words or a cuddle. Today's no exception, I'm meeting his for lunch and later again for dinner. Can't wait!

Happy anniversary my darling, you're more than I could ever ask for.

Last night was my first time watching a movie in months. My dad got 2 free tickets to watch Hairspray and since he didn’t want to go, I went with Jie instead.

It’s bloody good! I loved the songs and the actors. Michelle Pfeiffer was amazing. I didn’t like her character in the movie but her performance was outstanding. Her eyes are so expressive and she’s ageing so well! John Travolta was charismatic as always and the duet he did with Christopher Walken was so sweet. Overall good movie, go watch!

2007-08-19T03:57:00.000+08:00

Tonight was amazing.
You've done it again my love :)

2007-02-15T00:13:00.000+08:00

Just because :)

2007-02-14T12:52:00.000+08:00

it's 4.50 in the morning and I have a 9am lecture today. My body clock is so screwed up and i blame it on all my pent up anxiety. And maybe the cup of tea I had a few hours ago. Damn.

So, i've been surfing quite a few blogs over the past few hours (yah, i've got nothing else better to do in the wee hours of the night) and I've come to a conclusion that I HATE blogs that are emo especially those that don't explicitly say what the hell it is that making them sad/happy/etc, but instead beat about the bush without ever addressing whatever it is their emo-ing about head on. I'm fine with people expressing their feelings but why do they have to do it in a cryptic sort of way? It's just so annoying! What's the point of making a post public if you're gonna write in a mysterious, wanna-say-but-don't-wanna-say way?

Before you slam me and say "Ting...you used to do it all the time", wait. stop. don't say it. I know...but i've realised the folly of my ways and I will stop writing emo entries from now on. To be honest, I'd much rather read bimbotic entries on shopping and food than to pour through an entire entry on how the life isn't fair that's phrased in flowery language. Oh my gawd...kill me now.

Anyway, I do realise that I need to spice up my blog a little by adding some photos/videos but I haven't been taking any so you guys will have a wait a bit. I've been too preoccupied over applications and interviews to be in the mood to prance around taking photos. I realise that whenever my blog is flooded with photographs, I'm in one of the happier stages of my life. Look what applications have done to me! I'm a shadow of my former self!

Speaking of applcations, I've been letting out all my frustrations on poor little marcus. Nowadays he never speaks of anything job related in fear that I will launch into one of my 45 minute self-pitying sessions about how stressed I am. But it's true!!!! I'm stressed and I can't hide it! By the way, interview coming up this Tuesday...eeks. But I'm not freaking out yet, I'll leave that till Monday.

Oh man..it's 5.10am now and I'm still not sleepy! Should I go on typing or should I try closing my eyes and lie really still in bed? Ok, i'll try sleeping...if i come back with a second post, you'll know what happened. toodles!

2007-02-07T19:59:00.000+08:00

I'm currently sitting by the phone, waiting for my grandmother to call me so i can wish her happy birthday. I've lost track of exactly how old she is but i think that's fine...i don't think she expects us to remember.

Anyway, Marcus is coming up in 2 weeks! I'm terribly excited!! Now when I walk along the streets and I see nice places, I make a mental note to myself to bring him there. I recently found alot of nice restaurants along tottenham court road and I can't wait to bring him there to try.

I've signed him up for a hall as well and I had to subject myself to the nasty receptionist's stares and annoyed looks. Oh my God, what's up with London and their CRABBY receptionists?! Seriously! there's something horribly wrong with them. When I was in bankside, I was scolded by the receptionist a countless number of times. One time, it was over a stupid door stopper. I swore never again will I ever tolerate people being so rude to me and today, it happened again. Here's what happened, I was asking her questions about when I will be able to move in and she just shoved an application form in my face without answering my question. And while I was filling out the form, i casually repeated my question and she just slammed shut the glass screen in front of her! grrr. THEN, when i finished with the form, i opened the screen door and repeated my question for the third time and she said "i'll call you" and slammed it shut again! IF I DIDN'T NEED THE ROOM SO BAD I WOULDN'T HESITATE TO SCREAM AT HER AND SMASH HER BLOODY GLASS SCREEN. I think that stupid piece of glass gives her a power trip or something.

But hopefully Marcus likes that place and all my tolerating will be worth it. Bloody receptionist from hell....

Hmmm....my grandmother still hasn't called...so i shall continue rambling on.

I think all these applications and interviews really teach you how to be patient and the art of waiting. I'm alot more calm today than i was the past few days. Thanks Jie for comforting me =) Study hard so we can go to hare&tortoise this weekend! hahaa

2007-02-05T06:23:00.000+08:00

So I finally managed to do nothing the entire weekend. I didn't touch a single piece of work or worry about upcoming interviews. I just plonked myself on my couch, bundled myself up in a thick soft blanket and poured through storybooks while munching on the new year goodies my mom sent me. I think I only got out of that couch to use the toilet. That's life huh?

I've been sacrificing so much over these past few weeks that I just needed a weekend devoted to doing absolutely nothing. But tomororw, i've got to start worrying about how I haven't done my finance homework, or any homework for that matter. Oh drats, i just remembered I was supposed to clean the toilet this weekend. Nevermind, I'll do everything tomorrow.

2007-01-29T23:07:00.000+08:00

i've a sudden longing to sip ice cold fruit juice by the beach.

I want to be away from this place for just a moment. Away from all the nonsense that's weighing me down. I always knew i'd look back one day and reminise about the good old times where all i did was play dress up and run around the garden. But i never thought that day would come so soon.

I think what I'm feeling is the side effects of wanting too much. The only saving grace is that i've been chilling out alot with my sister whose presence is very comforting.

Bah, anyway, on to more light hearted stuff. I was watching "girls out loud" on youtube the other day and it's the most hilarious thing mediacorp has ever produced! I just love the contrast between ros and xiaxue. Appearances aside, i love how both their personalities are so different but yet meld together to form a burst of chemistry. (ok, that sounded odd but i don't know how else to put it) My favourite episodes so far would be when they interviewed MissIzzy, appointments with DrHuang (that man's impatience with Xiaxue is hilarious) and the blind dates.

Watching all this Singapore stuff is filling me with so much nostalgia.

2007-01-23T05:45:00.000+08:00

hey guys, I'm back!

I've been in london for 2 solid weeks now but it seems like alot longer. Somehow christmas, my internship, new year seem ancient. I'm enjoyng myself over here...I've been having crazy cooking sessions almost everyday. Jiaying and I have decided to make pineapple tarts before chinese new year!

I brought back tons of new year goodies but now they are all gone cos i've been gorging myself endlessly on them. Everytime I'm bored, I'll just walk to the kitchen and stuff my face. But my mom will be sending over a CNY parcel to me next week so all's good! heh. I can't wait. I love receiving stuff.

Anyway, I live right next to tottenham court road and today's the first day I explored that area. It's a really nice place. There's an odeon cinema, FOPP, paperchase, marks and spencer, electronic shops and tons of eating places. I'm really gonna enjoy bringing marcus to these places when he comes over in Feb.

Yup, so that's all for now. I'll try to update on a more regular basis.

2007-01-05T18:56:00.000+08:00

I officially ended work on wednesday and I've been busy enjoying my holidays. I realised that you really appreciate your holidays when you spend a large part of it working.

yesterday was my first shopping trip in months. I finally have some new clothes after wearing the same ones to death (It got to a point where marcus kept count of the number of times I wore the same clothes....very embarrassing.) The sales are going on right now and everything is so cheap cheap! I feel so satisfied and proud of myself whenever i buy stuff that's 70% off.

Tomorrow i'm gonna fight the weekend crowd and get myself some new makeup. I've been so deprived over the past few months!!! I NEED TO SHOP.

2006-12-26T09:55:00.000+08:00

I'm at the institutional sales department...back from my christmas break :( This year, I was unusually sad when christmas ended. I had the best time this year and received the best presents. My baby got me a new ring cos I lost the first one he gave me. It's a white gold Tiffany&co ring that's designed by Frank Gehry. I love it so much. I promise I will not lose it darling!

My other favourite present is the Macbook Pro my parents got me. My heart skipped a beat when I saw it. There's no other word to describe it but AMAZING. Yay...i HAVE A NEW LAPTOP. But i haven't had time to set it up cos i had to come in for work today. All my other presents were pretty good too. URGH, WHY MUST CHRISTMAS END. I spend the entire year looking forward to this holiday and it passes way too fast.

Caroling caroling through the snow
christmas bells are ringing.

2006-12-15T08:55:00.000+08:00

hey everyone. I'm at work again. it's my 3rd day in research and as I still feel like the sixth finger - a burden and unwanted. :( Oh well, it's my last day in this department anyway, after this i'm going to client marketing for a day. Should be interesting. Then it's off to institutional sales and trading! wooooot!

2006-12-13T16:51:00.000+08:00

hey guys! i'm at work now...secretly typing this entry. i'm doing a rotational programme and i'm spending my first 3 days in research. People here are alright.....I've taken a liking to 3 girls. One of them was from LSE! :) The other 2 are really nice and helpful.

there's this guy who sits next to me and he's really well spoken but damn unfriendly. pfftt. Nevermind. Oh, one cool thing is that i get to have an endless supply of biscuits, hot chocolate, coffee, wafers etc.

Jinnie, Liz and Lu are working in the same area as me! We've already agreed to meet up for lunch soon but i don't know how as their lunch hours are completely different from mine. I ended up eating alone today which wasn't so bad. I'm gonna force marcus to come down and have lunch with me everyday after his exams. (jiaying!!! we're supposed to meet up and go have some prata!)

hmm, oh the guy from HP called me and apparently my computer is gonna cost $400 to fix! yikes!!! My dad almost went crazy when i told him. I think I really should start saving money from now cos my household spends alot of money (especially my brother! he just bought an xbox 360). I guess it's up to me to be the thrifty one.

Speaking of money, I'm getting paid!!!! i was thinking of what i should do with the money and i've come up of a list of things to buy. Maybe an ipod, the YSL muse bag or a wallet from prada or something. i'm a brand whore, i know.

alrights, back to research. I'm researching on handsets..how interesting...

2006-12-11T04:49:00.000+08:00

AND I'M BACK IN SINGAPORE!

hellooo everyone! I'm so glad to be back. My plane ride was quite good but I was a little disappointed that I didn't get to sprawl out on 3 seats like the last time round. The flight I took was over booked and was packed to the brim. While i was checking in my lugguage, i got a flyer that said I'd be compensated 300 euroes if i'm willing to wait for the next flight, and 600 euroes if the next flight takes more than 4 hours. PLUS, all accommodation and meals will be paid for. wow...i was so tempted but i decided against it. stupid me. I could be using that money to get a new laptop. in case you havent heard, my laptop is dead. I couldn't get out of bed for a few days but all's good now. I've learnt to manage without one (Read: stealing flatmate's laptops and camping in the library past midnight everyday.

Home's great. Mom cooked yong tau fu for me and everyone's unnervingly nice. I better milk this special treatment for what its worth. Anyway, tomorrow i'm seeing marcus!! omg omg omg! i'm so excited! I think that's the reason I can't sleep. But it sucks that I can't see him for long since he's having his exams right now. eh, some time is better than no time. I'll be seeing his new dog, elmo, as well! It's a golden retreiver that one of his friends gave him. On a side note, WHY DOES EVERY BLOODY HOUSEHOLD IN SINGAPORE OWN A GOLDEN RETREIVER? It doesn't make the golden retreiver any less beautiful, but doesn't anyone else find it slightly strange that so many people own that specific breed? bah, doesn't matter. I love dogs and I can't wait to meet Elmo.

2006-11-30T22:38:00.000+08:00

I forgot to submit my micro essay!! urgh. I did it like a few days in advance and in the end, i was so caught up doing my other assignements that i completely forgot to hand it in. But i emailed it to my teacher, so hopefully he will be kind enough to grade it.

Just made myself some chicken curry don (jiaying taught me how). It's really yummy. One thing I've learnt in the past 9 weeks is that i love cooking. It's really destressing and fun. So far, I've learnt patato casserole, onion pancake, spaghetti, steam egg custard, chicken curry, fried rice, pork rib soup......eh...quite alot la.

Thurdays are my slack days. I wake up at noon, cook lunch, watch tv and talk to Marcus. But today I can't afford to slack. I've got lots of stuff to catch up on...but the mere sight of my work is putting me off. Nevermind, I'm gonna have to force myself to do it. I must if i am to enjoy my Christmas break. toodles!

2006-11-30T04:44:00.000+08:00

Jiaying told me that i should revive my blog, so i took her advice and here i am! hmm, we just spent 2 hours in the kitchen gossiping about every random thing that comes into mind. It's so funny, i love bitching with her. Actually, not really with her...she does most of the talking, i do most of the laughing/listening. Her stories really brighten up my day:)

I can't believe that it's now the 9th week of term. One more week till i go back. I'm really excited about going back, seeing my friends and family, and starting my internship, but, on the other hand, i'm so comfortable here that I feel sad leaving. My room is soooo comfy. In fact, i feel sad leaving it for school even...heh. But really, my favourite past time now is just chilling out in my room, watching grey's anatomy/prison break/anything i can get my hands on.

Oh, just last night I was watching 'The L word'. It's actually really good! Plus, there's lesbian one on one action. I think now i know why it got such high ratings....all the guys must be glued to the television everytime there's some steamy lesbian action.

I was doing some thinking. I told myself at the end of my first year that I was going to make my second year better. I don't know if this year is better, but i feel so different. Maybe it's cos i just turned 20, and i tell myself I can no longer get away with saying stupid things. I realise now that the only person who is getting me through life is me. I no longer want to lean on anyone for support..not my sister, not my parents, not my friends.

there's way too much to blog about. I can't do it all in this entry...I really got to get back to work. I'll post more soon.

2006-11-28T23:14:00.000+08:00

2006-10-14T16:51:00.000+08:00

despite only sleeping for 6 hours, I'm in an incredibly good mood. I finally dragged my ass down to Ikea and bought a bookcase, desk, lamp shade etc. The final product is this:

Chill out area

dressing table

Sleep/study

Kitchen

2006-10-03T16:47:00.000+08:00

I've settled down nicely into my new apartment. It's great, it has everything a house should have.

I'm feeling quite lousy this morning even though the sun is shining and I managed to get sufficient sleep. Oh well, it's only tuesday...i have to pick myself up. There's lots of stuff that needs to be done.

I miss my mom so much.

2006-09-25T02:17:00.000+08:00

the good ol' holidays have come to na end. I've been packing for the past 2 hours and I'm now taking a break. Phew. When I first came back, 4 months ago, my room was spartan and clean. Now, there's junk everywhere and everthing's topsy turvy. Not to mention, there's an ant nest directly above my bed! It's really gross. Ants kept dropping down onto my pillows so I had no choice but tomove into my brother's empty room. I kinda like it there, the aircon is quiet and I get to sleep on the floor korean style.

Yesterday's birthday celebration was a quiet one. I just wanted to be around my family.

2006-08-08T15:14:00.000+08:00

The onset of PMS has left me unusually emotional.

Marcus and Jinnie, you guys show me what true love is.

2006-08-07T02:10:00.000+08:00

hey guys! i'm back. Sorry for leaving this blog stagnant for so long...I've been enjoying my holidays. Haven't been doing anything earth shattering, but it's all good. Let's see...i'll just blog down whatever i can remember over the past few days.

Yesterday, Marcus called me damn early and told me to go to his house. I was pretty cheesed off that he didn't come and pick me up..isn't that what a gentleman should do?! wah lao eh. Ok, so nevermind. I took public transport all the way to his house and when he opened the gates, my jaw dropped. He had on a chef's hat that said "I love arsenal and cooking". Then he handed me a glass of sparkling white grape juice (why not wine? Cos miss loser over here can't stand the taste of alcohol). So it immediately dawned upon me that he asked me to come over cos he wanted to cook for me. Aiyohh.....so sweet. he shouldn't have. So....first up was a shrimpey cocktail thing that tasted quite good considering that i hate shrimp/prawn. Then for the main course it was caramelised salmon fillets with german mashed potatoes. For dessert, we had warm chocolate cake with a molten centre topped off with vanilla icecream. Yummy right?

As if that's not nice enough, he brought me to a spa after that. At first i was reluctant to go, but before you call me nuts and say 'wah....free spa also don't want to go ah! siao za bor!', let me explain. I don't like people touching me cos i get all tensed up and nervous. But, i went for the spa anyway. It was actually pretty cool. I got a body massage and a facial. I've never had a facial before so it was nice having someone applying mask and exfoliating cream...and don't know what other stuff. The lady screamed when i told her i don't use a toner and she started telling me the importance of using toner. blah blah blah......then she asked the question that hit a raw nerve. 'do you use eye cream'. Obviously i said no. That's when she screamed again and told me i must because i have really bad eye bags. If i have 10cents for every time someone's said that to me, i'd be a billionare by now. So I have bad eye bags...ok i get it. i can't help it if i'm a night person and I hate the day time. BUT. for the sake of beauty, i will try to have earlier nights. But she did say one nice thing though, which of course i'm going to share with you guys. She said i have really nice rosy cheeks. She kept trying to remove my rouge when there was none to remove in the first place. hheee....=)

today i discovered the best shopping mall in the entire singapore. I went a little nuts. I bought myself my first ever bolster! I also bought a fleece blanket for london. Gonna go back there soon and go crazy.

i'm tired. goodnight

2006-07-24T02:20:00.000+08:00

Today's anniversary was bloody good. 19 months of happiness with my baby. I cooked him chicken, corn patties, bacon strips and bananas glazed with butter. considering that it was so last minute, the dinner was quite yummy. I don't know what it is about today, but everything seemed dipped in romance...magical even. Don't want to talk about it too much because the magic disappears the more you talk about it. Let tonight be something special that only we will share.

2006-07-18T21:13:00.000+08:00

Baked cupcakes with my favourite girl today. I feel buttery all over and I still have sugar granules stuck beneath my fingernails. I think that girl rekindled my love for baking. The cupcakes turned out really yummy. I can't wait to give them to marcus! He didn't really like the ones i made last time cos he said they were too sweet. Too bad, he has to like this batch cos I put in alot of effort into them.

2006-07-17T22:46:00.000+08:00

Had my first minor car accident today. I told you morning drivers are savages! The other car was scrapped pretty badly but my car managed to get away with just a few tiny scratches. In fact, they're so tiny that my brother, who was in the car when it happened, couldn't even tell where I hit my car. I feel so shaked up about the whole thing. I swear never to be so reckless and careless again.

2006-07-17T01:55:00.000+08:00

was feeling really emo this afternoon. I had just got back from lunch, my brother was out, friends were not available and the only thing I had for company was season 2 of will&grace.

I don't mean to sound melodramatic, but i think i'm in bad shape. According to will&grace, the 5 pillars of strength are health, family, friends, work and love. If i were to write down what I honestly think and feel, I only have 2 pillars of strength as of right now.

This emo mood is here to stay.

2006-07-14T00:56:00.000+08:00

I think I'm leading the most uneventful holiday ever. All my friends are travelling, doing internships, doing charity work etc. And here I am, enjoying life as a snail.

My results were released yesterday. I actually forgot that my results were out. My brother casually reminded me as I was lazing on the couch. So I scurried over to my computer and checked it on my lse account. Boy do i hate checking results online, my heart feels like an alien ready to pop out of my chest and my palms get impossibly sweaty. But all turned out good. *beam*

It wasn't until a few days ago that I found out my nose has been plagued by blackheads. I've been rubbing my nose for the past week and wondering why it's so rough. Well, mystery solved. BLACKHEADS. Clusters and Clusters of them. Yuck yuck yuck. Under further speculation, I suspect it's the face cream that I bought from new zealand. It's supposed to be from lamb's wool that contains lanolin which I think is too rich for me. I was totally suckered into buying it. There was this whole pamphlet that said the reason why shepards' hands are so soft and smooth is because they come into contact with the oil in lambs wool. Damn lambs, shepards and nature, you've given me blackheads.

2006-07-12T16:48:00.000+08:00

I wasn't all that thrilled about completing JC, but one of the few things i was grateful for was not having to wake up at an ungodly hour just to make it to school on time. But now that i've taken over the role of mom, I have to wake up at 6.30 and fetch my brother to school. I have no idea how the hell my mom has been able to keep this up for 20 years.

It's quite torturous. Drivers in the morning are savages.

They're savages! savages!
barely even human!
savages! savages!
Killers at the core
They're different from us
Which means they can't be trusted
We must sound the drums of war

that's from the pochahontas soundtrack by the way.

I'm bored to death at home.

2006-07-10T12:47:00.000+08:00

My parents have gone out of town for 2 weeks so i'll be babysitting my brother till they return. I'm watching disney playhouse with him right now and it's really irritating how the little kids speak in such perfect english.

today, my hot date and I have decided to watch superman returns. We've got to make a trip down to the pharmacy after that. After which, I've got to sit down with him and make sure he finishes all his school homework.

ok, i'll blog later. Lunch is calling. I've got a chicken burger with my name on it. toodles!

2006-07-03T01:42:00.000+08:00

have you ever felt so frustrated that you start crying? Have you ever felt that the only way your anger will ever go away is for you to wring that person's neck till you can feel his body spasming beneath you and you can see his eyes bulging out as he struggles to breathe?

I'm so hopping mad right now that i'm seeing double. But I don't wish you were dead, yet. I want to lay a thousand curses upon you but I'm still sane enough not to because i'm superstitious and I will feel some kind of remorse if those curses were to come true.

I guess this proves your point that i'm a psychotic mad bitch who forgot to take her meds this morning. Brava!

2006-07-02T05:45:00.000+08:00

i'm helplessly addicted to prison break. One year of tv deprivation has turned me into some kinda starved animal. I watch things obsessively now. I no longer follow tv shows on television. One week is just too long to wait for the next episode. No, i must have the whole season before I allow myself to devour them all up. I can sit infront of my laptop and watch 10 episodes in one go, stopping only to eat,sleep and breathe. Sounds piggish and gross, but i'm living my dream man.

I'm so damn annoyed right now. I've finished 15 episodes of prison break and I don't have the rest. I need it. I'm a tv junkie. Correction, I'm a prison break junkie. ok, I won't be surprised if people are imagining me sitting in a dark, damp room with my pupils dilated, watching prison break over and over again. It's not far from the truth, but i shouldn't portray myself as such a couch potato so I shall this obsession right now.

God Bless tv.

2006-06-22T21:27:00.000+08:00

I'm back!

new zealand was fun even though i was practically in a comatose state for the first few days of the trip. I fell asleep everywhere i went. I think if i add up all the hours i slept a day, it'll easily add up to 16 hours. I think i was way too exhausted from my italy trip, packing and exams.

I'm still tired though. I'm having the sniffles so I may be coming down with something.

2006-06-10T08:48:00.000+08:00

after a 13 hour flight, i'm back in singapore. Yayness. I honestly thought this week would never end. When I was in Italy, I was looking forward to going home but i was dreading packing and moving house. When that was over, I had to pack for Singapore. Now that I'm in Singapore, I have to pack for New Zealand. I'm leaving in less than 12 hours. Insane huh? I'm so tired of packing, airports, planes, moving here and there. What I really want right now is to rest. Laze around the house in my pajamas, eat home cooked meals and spend time with my loved ones.

my skin is suffering due to the lack of rest, nutrition and the constant exposure to sun. I think staying in London has totally deprived me of the sun, so much so that when i was in sunny italy I went completely insane and fried myself in the sun every chance I got.

Complaints aside, I'll be snow boarding in New zealand! Ever since my ski trip to korea, I have been dying to snow board again. =)

I just met marcus for the first time in months. I had such a great time. We had so much to catch up on and whole night was filled with explosions of laughter, wrestling, stupid stories and jokes until finally we just collapsed into each other's arms completely exhausted.

2006-06-08T08:36:00.000+08:00

Italy was amazing.
Here are a few photos. I'll post the rest another day.

2006-05-29T06:20:00.000+08:00

My bank account has been seeing alot of activity lately. Damn. Why is it everything I do involves money?

Anyway, tomorrow's my Italy trip! I'm so excited. I'll be going to Milan, Florence, Pisa, Rome, Naples and Capri Island. I'm armed with a good book, tons of sunblock, my camera, and a good appetite. Italy here I come!

2006-05-27T11:30:00.001+08:00

The days ahead look promising. I've got 2 more days to pack up my life in bankside and then it's off to Italy!

I love not having exams (sorry for rubbing it in your face xiang)! I really do. I didn't feel that great after exams because I had to find a place to live. But now that that's settled, my steps seem lighter and I'm happy.

2006-05-25T04:22:00.000+08:00

I have an exciting piece of news to announce. We have found a place to live next year! It's a spaciou 5 bedroom apartment 5 minutes away from sainsburys, 10 minutes away from school and, get this, DIRECTLY OPPOSITE THE BRITISH MUSEUM. Seriously, it's like 3 metres away. Life is sweet.

2006-05-23T06:35:00.000+08:00

i kept giving myself mini scares today. I'd be sitting around doing some frivalous thing, and then I'd suddenly get all panicky and tell myself to get back to work. Then I'd realise, I've got no work to do! Yes, exams are over! *punches air in joy*

I'm pretty happy with my stats paper. It could have been better but it could have been worse. Thank God I did all those past year exam papers. The guy beside me spent 2.5 hours staring at the paper and left with his answer booklet blank. Man, does he have guts or what. After the paper, I was excitedly telling my mom my study strategy for stats when my dad took over the phone and said, "who cares!? go have fun!". Hah. It was then that I realised I've been totally obsessed with my exams and studying.

Now that exams are over, I'm going to switch my focus and obsess over finding a house to stay in for the next academic year. I've got the daunting task of finding a house and packing up all my stuff in a week. Once this week's over, it's goodbye London and hello Italy.

2006-05-20T04:36:00.000+08:00

The library environment is damn stressful. see exibit A:

Frown on face and exam style hair.

Exibit B:

Palm on forehead, fingers massaging temples, frown on face.

I feel stressed watching him study. But i'm pretty much in the same position when i study.

Stressful hor?

Anyway, I'm feeling bored. so let me show u some stuff.

This is the ugly evian poster girl ziwei stuck onto my calculator. I had this really seductive girl with a short skirt and holding balloons at first, but ziwei insisted she could do better so she stuck this pale lifeless looking woman on my calculator instead. I still think it's damn ugly, but it's still there after 3 years.

Sung's high tech calculator, that can plot graphs, do regression, integrate and lots of other cool stuff, next to my calculator which i only use to add subtract multiply and divide.

Korean. It says 'ting' 'ricebucket' 'picture of a bowl of rice'. I think it's a way of saying silly in korean.

Brain juice. Ribena's new flavour - blueberry. It's 15 calories and tastes like crap.

my cluttered desk which i'm damn proud of. It's the mark of a hardwroking student. Everyone should have one.

My favourite part of my trip home from school. London eye

2006-05-19T02:48:00.000+08:00

there was tons of pollen/something from the trees flying in the air today. tons and tons and tons of pollen. I have pollen in my left nostril and in the back of my throat. I tried hacking it out but nothing's working. Does anyone have a remedy? Now i know why people get hay fever.

ok, i tried eating a chocolate digestive to make the pollen go down, but it didn't work.

anyway, one more paper left to go! after monday, i'm a free woman. After that, I'll be busy packing. I've got to pack up my room, pack for italy and pack for singapore.

I've got to find a house too. I really can't wait to move out of bankside. As much as I love it here, it's time to move on and venture into the unknown. I want to live on my own, learn how pay bills, call down the plumber when the plumbing's broken, fix up the interenet, cook, clean, decorate etc. I love pushing my limits and seeing how far I go.

I've made so many mistakes and learnt so many things in the past year. But I'm glad that things went the way it did, because I prefer the person I am now to the one who first stepped out of Singapore. Next academic year, I'm going to do everything differently.

Sometimes i get carried away with all the plans I make. But as of right now, I've got to push all my dreams aside and concentrate on the last 50m of my first year as an undergraduate student. I've only got one more paper to go and I'm going to give it my best shot.

My dreams are worthless, my plans are dust, my goals are impossible. All are of no value unless they are followed by action.

2006-05-18T03:23:00.000+08:00

thank you marcus aw for graciously pointing out that i can't spell flair. I am thoroughly embarrassed. Feel free to correct me if i make anymore hideous spelling errors

tomorrow's econs. spent the day in the library doing exercises and reading notes. after econs, I've only got one more paper left - stats.

my studying days are coming to an end.

oh well, nothing much to tell.

HELLO SHRUTI WEEJAIYARHKUMAH! =) i heard my brilliant visa plan worked! anyway, GOOD LUCK FOR YOUR EXAMS!

2006-05-17T04:06:00.000+08:00

2 down, 2 more papers to go.

Math was alright. I thought I'd do worse. I studied quite hard for it, but i left all the stuff i didn't understand to the last minute so that got me all worried at the start of the exam. I was so worried that i got a mental block and I couldn't do a single question. Thank God that went away.

I was really disappointed over accouting. I know I could have done so much better if I had just gone through the basic stuff the day before instead of dwelling on the nitty gritty facts. But it's over. I've been quite affected by it the whole day but i console myself by saying "it's only year one", "you did your best", "you've had fun studying accounting". all lies. But it makes me feel a litte better.

Ok, next year NO MORE SLACKING. i swear this is the last time i'm gonna slack off. I've learnt my lesson. Consistent work is the key to good grades.

I wish i was one of those people with flare. I really hate categorizing myself as someone who isn't brilliant but just works damn bloody hard. damn it. I want flare. I want brains. I want inspiration. I want motivation. I want good grades.

2006-05-14T07:16:00.000+08:00

exams are in 1 day's time. I just hope what i've done is enough.
I'm so glad my sister is here in London and having her exams same time as me. We're fighting the same battle together. Having her around is just great.

Anyway, I was a royal bitch to Marcus today. I'm sorry.

2006-05-12T01:06:00.000+08:00

i only have one thing on my mind. i desperately need some TLC from marcus aw ming yao.

i left the library in a huff just now. I couldn't cram a single number into my brain and plus the lovey dovey couple beside me kept reminding me of what I cant have.

tap your heels together 3 times and repeat "there's no place like home"

2006-05-06T05:20:00.000+08:00

exams are less than 2 weeks away now. i must really step on the accelerator.

somehow, the mood to study isn't there. the library has been relatively empty the past 2 day all because of the weather. It's been "good" weather! (read: no gloomy grey clouds, no chilly wind) Lots of people outside the library sipping wine, chatting, laughing and eating magnum.

2006-05-02T05:21:00.000+08:00

just received the ultimate insult from a russian guy who shares the same kitchen as me.

I was happily cooking up a storm in the kitchen when in walks a russian guy

russian: hey.
me: hey
*russian walks over
russian: what are u cooking?
me: boiling vegetables (i didn't mean for it to sound so unappetising. I was actually in the beginning stage of whipping up something scrumptious)
russian: oh *dramatic pause* don't worry, someday you'll learn.
-_-
the disgruntled cook: yeah. ..... i just threw whatever i had inside. (so not true! i actually had to go to sainbury's and search for the freshest vegetables)

i poked around at my unappetising looking vegetables and decided to go hide my face somewhere.

as i was leaving, he looked up from his instant noodles and said " is it too horrible to look at?"

wah piang!

2006-05-01T07:33:00.000+08:00

be patient and wait for it to download.
TIM BURTON ROCKS.

2006-04-28T06:14:00.000+08:00

interesting fact: I can't study for more than 8 hours in a day. Not a minute more than 8 hours. It doesn't even have to be 8 consecutive hours, as longs as i put in 8 hours of work throughout the course of the day. 8 hours 8 hours 8 hours. 8 - lucky number. i only discovered this recently because prior to this week, i never studied for that long.

was not productive today at all. shit. i only managed to finish my marcro mock exam (which i've just been informed doesn't need to be handed in. double shit) and do a math paper (it's damn fucking difficult. triple quadruple pentuple hextuple shit)

2006-04-25T08:34:00.000+08:00

first day of school was spent mugging my ass off in the library. Even though i didn't manage to cover everything i set out to do, I'm really proud of myself. I'm actually capable of sitting in the same seat for hours. who knew?

I pilfered awaysome time to daydream about my boyfriend, RAN, italy, friends, and summer. I think my daydream about summer has been completely used and sucked dry but I can't stop thinking about it. ah, can't wait can't wait.

ok. now that my moisturizer's been absorbed, I'm gonna crawl into bed. Tomorrow's another day of studying. goodnight!

2006-04-24T06:50:00.000+08:00

both reading lamps in my room have blown, so i've been reading my notes in darkness for the past few hours.

Well, highlight of the day was trying to cook salmon teriyaki. Michelle makes fabulous salmon in the microwave, so i tried to replicate it. After 20 minutes, all i had to show for it were broken bits of salmon that tasted sourish and a sink that smelled like fish (don't ask).

2006-04-23T05:26:00.000+08:00

what better way to break the exam stress than to go out with your favourite gal pals to a nice dinner? We had korean tonight and it was amazing! We ordered bibimbap, da po ki, bbq beef, dumplings, kimchi pancake and a giant hot pot filled with sausages, noodles, pork and veggie. Needless to say I am bursting at the seams, but it's so worth it. I don't think I've ever tasted such nice korean food even though i've been to Korea.

Honestly speaking, I've not been that miserable during this exam period. Considering that I almost had a nervous breakdown during o levels and cried buckets during A levels, studying so far has been a breeze. But i think this means I haven't been studying hard enough. 3 more weeks to exam, I have to jia you!

2006-04-20T03:59:00.000+08:00

i am a sucker for such things.

Rules:
1. Bold the following words that are true about you.
2. ITALISE the things you wish were true.
3. Add one thing true about you4. And then tag one, two, three,four, FIVE more people.

I miss somebody right now. (how can i not when i'm so far away from home)
I don’t watch TV these days. (i used to be a tv junkie)
I own lots of books. (i swear i'll read them this summer)
I wear glasses or contact lens.
I love to play video games. ( i was hooked to 'tarzan' once)
I’ve tried marijuana.
I’ve been in a threesome. ( bring it on)
I’ve been the psycho-ex in a past relationship. (man, i'd love to be a stalker. i've got the sunglasses and cap. all i need is a victim)
I believe honesty is usually the best policy. (hell no!)
I curse sometimes. (i have to reach a quota everyday.)
I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. (maybe.)
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me. (this is a warning to all you criminals out there! stay away)
I’m TOTALLY smart. (i have my moments)
I’ve broken someone’s bones. (are teeth counted?)
I’m paranoid sometimes.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost and scar-free. (i would still go even if it wasn't)
I need money right now. (yes, something awful has happened)
I love sushi.
I talk really, really fast/unclear.
I have long hair.
I have lost money in Las Vegas. (one day...)
I have at least one sibling.
I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
I couldn’t survive without Caller I.D.
I like the way I look.
I am usually pessimistic.
I have a lot of mood swings. ( when i PMS) (i have permanant pms)
I have a hidden talent. (or at least i'd like to think it's a talent)
I’m always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
I have alot of friends.
I am currently single.
I have pecked someone of the same sex. ( =))
I enjoy talking on the phone. (i hate talking on the phone. it makes my ear itch)
I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants. (i'll spirel down to the land of the obese if i did this)
I love to shop.
I enjoy window-shopping.
I would rather shop than eat.
I don’t hate anyone; I dislike them.
I’m a pretty good dancer.
I’m completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
I have a cell phone.
I believe in God.
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
I’ve rejected someone before. (eat shit)
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
I want to have children in the future.
I have changed a diaper before. (baby shit smells quite nice actually)
I’ve called the cops on a friend before.
I’m not allergic to anything.
I have a lot to learn.
I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger.
I am shy around the opposite sex.
I have made a move on a friend’s significant past or crush in the past. (please, i don't do second hand)
I own the “South Park” movie.
I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza. (dominos does!)
I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all. (gawd, he is king!)
Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
I have dated a close friend’s ex.
I am happy at this moment!
I’m obsessed with guys.
Democrat.
I am punk rockish.
I am preppy.
I study for tests most of the time. (not if i can avoid it)
I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I’ve ever met.
I can work on a car.
I love my job.
I am comfortable with who I am now.
I have more than just my ears pierced.
I walk barefoot wherever I can.
I have jumped off a bridge.
I love sea turtles.
I spend ridiculous money on makeup.
I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
I’m proficient in a musical instrument.
I worked at MacDonald’s restaurant.
I hate office jobs.
I love sci-fi movies.
I think water rules. (sparkling)
I went to college out of state.
I like sausages.
I love kisses. (sloppy, dry and hershey)
I fall for the wrong people. (used to)
I adore bright colours.
I can’t live without black eyeliner. (i look like a racoon)
I don’t know why the hell I just did this stupid thing. (actually i do. i want people to know more about me)
I usually like covers more than originals.
I can pick up things with my toes.
I can’t whistle.
I can move my tongues in waves, much like a snakes slithers.
I have ridden/owned a horse.
I still have every journal I’ve ever written in.
I can’t stick to a diet.
I talk in my sleep.
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distraction.
Climbing trees is a brilliant past time.
I have jazz in my blood.
I wear a toe ring.(they are bloody uncomfortable)
I have a tattoo.
I can’t stand at LEAST one person I work with.(big time)
I am a caffeine junkie.
I cosplay or know what cosplaying is I have been to over 15 conventions.
I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.
I’m an artist.
I only clean my room when necessary.
I like a person of the same sex. (like you haven't)
I love being happy.
I am an adrenaline junkie.
I have ridden an elephant.
I love chocolates!
I go to school NOT for the sake of lessons.
I feel crazy.
I love tomatoes!!
I like peanut butter on bananas.(it's the best invention!)
Been told “You’re on fire!”
I’m a netballer.(i've played. is that counted?)
I believe in Serendipity.
I think the word ‘RASPBERRY’ is sexaaay!
I love to look at people’s teeth.
I don’t wanna grow up.
I can cross my eyes n stick out my tongue n still look cute.
Gaining weight is a wonderful thing.
I am a PRO…procrastinator.
I love listening to gossip.

2006-04-19T07:02:00.000+08:00

i love this blog for all the comfort it gives me. It's 12.01am right now and I doubt I'll be falling asleep anytime soon. Today was punctuated with listless sleeps and randomness. I found myself waking up at 9.10pm with less energy than before my nap. I sat down at my desk, scribbled some half-hearted explanation on why average variable cost may not necessarily increase before my legs carried me off to the kitchen to scrounge around for some dinner. I really don't bother buying anything nowadays because I don't have my own fridge, so i was lucky to find my expired frankfurters tucked away at the back of the common fridge. I looked at the calorie content and was surprsised to find that one frankfurter was 99kcal. I was hoping it would be less. I told myself beggars can't be choosers so I heated them up in the microwave. I brought them back to my room and ate them while staring at my notes. At that moment, it seemed as though my notes had a life of it's own. It was speaking to me in a language I couldn't understand. That, coupled with the M.S.G in the sausages made me sick.

I started to wonder, where all my drive has gone? Have I exhausted all my motivation and energy on my A's and O'levels? If i fizzle out now and decide not to study anymore, would i be able to get to 2nd year with the knowledge that's swimming somewhere in my head? If it is, would i really want to progress on to second year knowing that I'll be faced with exactly the same stress come exam time? Right now, the only thing that's driving me is the 11,000 pounds a year my parents are paying to put me through university. But somehow, that is no longer enough to keep me going. I'm sorry dad and mom.

I looked out my window just now and all I could see were empty buses and taxis sweeping the road for customers. I wonder who will be out right now. Business men on their way back to their posh empty apartments? drunken men going home to their screaming wives? teenagers drunk with rage because their moms just told them they were a mistake? or maybe there are happy people out on the streets of london right now, but I just choose to paint a dull picture in my head.

I think i'm in this state right now because I just watched fifteen. Fifteen is a goddamn depressing movie. I feel like killing myself after watching it. I've got nothing to say about it because I feel too stupid and ineloquent to give a movie review. Besides, I doubt i understood it anyway.

By now i'm sure you've realised that my mind is in a haze. nothing makes sense and everything seems to call out to me. I feel like i could go on typing forever, stringing clumsy words together to form sentences I'm not even sure I mean.

i don't know how to end this post.

goodnight world.

2006-04-18T18:07:00.000+08:00

man, just read one of my friend's blogs and she's got a whole new layout. Her paintings and poetry are all sprawled across the entire webpage. Celene, if you read this, your art is amazing!

Oh how i wish when i looked at squashed tubes of paint, i could see Picasso or Monet. But no, when i look at squashed tubes of paint, i think 'what's the paint doing here?'. I would never ever ever pick up a brush and paint. The mess of colours in my head will never be shaped onto a canvas simply because I have no sense of proportion or imgination. Ask me to draw a man and i'll draw 2 circles and 4 sticks sticking out of the lower circle. Looks like my drawing 'skills' have not progressed much since kindergarden (my kindergarden teacher will be so pleased to know that all my knowledge of art comes from her).

As you probably can tell, i'm procrastinating. I'm blogging and reading blogs so i can put off work for another 5,10 or 20 minutes.

2006-04-18T07:39:00.000+08:00

oh yay. another day has ended. I shall not let today's unproductivity overwhelm me lest i go into a state of frenzy. i.must.learn.to.relax.and.chill. Yes, yes. Tomorrow's another day. Another glorious day filled with fun activities. I shall chant that until i actually believe it.

On the list of exciting things to do tomorrow is going to boots to buy toilet rolls, handwash and body soap. oh boy, oh boy, i can't wait.

I'm gonna sleep. I've mapped out my every single move for tomorrow. hmm, the phrase "living for today" just popped into my brain. oh well, don't know what that means. goodnight!

2006-04-17T06:27:00.000+08:00

new song list!

2006-04-16T07:44:00.000+08:00

sighz..me is missing SingApoRe aLorts Leh. I sit here da whole dae, stardie staRdie StaRdie veri Sianzz one leh. When I got Free time, I Like 2 tiNk abOut HoMe. Dat dae, I was LooKing ThrougH My ComP, Den Came aCroSs mY HoneYmoON PhotoS. AiyOh, My bOi Boi iSh realli veli Cute leh! Na, Let YoU seE.

hehehe, veli cute hor?! He goT SnoWflAke iN His HaiR. I sEe Alreadi heaRt pAin Pain. NehMind, A feW MorE WeEKs Of SuffEring Den I caN Be wiF Him alReadi. hehe.

YaH, aNyWays, I nEveR bLog aBout Moi HonEymOon, so, I shAll Blog abOut it noW. TheRe waS thIs One Day, Boi anD Me WenT tO waTCh soCceR. ARsenAl vs FulHam. Aiyo, I dunCh Like SOcceR LorHz. I dUn KnoE whY He ISh sOOoOOO CraZi abT it. So nVm, I StiLL go AnD KeeP hiM ComPAny. Wah! WheN We Get theRe Horz, So ManY DirTY Men AppRoaCh Us anD Try 2 Sell Us BlaCK mARket TicKEts. So Damn Ex, but Boi Still Buy. i Told you Mah, He iSh CraZi Abt SOccer. Den, We Walk To de StadIUm.

On Our WaY TherE, We sAw The FulHam fOoTball ShoP

BuT We NeveR go In And Buy AnyThiNg.
TheN WaLk waLK waLK, We finaLLy ReaChed. WaH, AfteR aLL That waLKing, I was DaMN HungRY LOrz. GoOt thIng, theRe weRE bUrgeR standS SelLing DamN xiang1 BurgeRs.

Queue DaMn LonG But Bo BiaN.. HunGry Den mUst Queue LOr. sIGhZ.

Den, We weNT Into The StaDium to WatCh thE GAme. Boi Bet 50PoundZ on The gamE. Siao SiaO siaoZ~! I wAnt To sCoLd hIM and hiT hiS ArM, But I SeE Him sHO Excited sO I ConTrol.

SeE, staDiuM VeRi NiCe anD Big Horz? De aRsenAL PlaYErS aRe waRming Up. De WeaTheR was Damn COLd LorZ, I dUNnoe HoW TheY cAn REn3. I WiLL Freeze LorH if I weaR so Little. I wORe daMN AlorT N I waS StiLL coLD. I eveN WorE the aRsenAl cAp bOi bOught 4 mE.

Ehzz...But I think HOrZ, wEaRing a cAp noRT such A goOt idEa, It made my HaIR veRI flat LoRz. Sighz.

Ehzz...Can U See In Dis Pix my haIR is flat flat One? VeRi nan3 Kan4 HoR?

But nevErmInd, EveN ThoUgh My haIR FlaT, I sTiLL enJoYed MyseLf cOS diS iSh de firSt Time I watCh soCceR. wah, VeRi exCiting Leh. EveN thE sun WAs ShinINg VeRI bRite!

PreTTi Hor?

aNYwAeZ, dUN wAN 2 bLOG ABouT hONeYMoOn aNYMOrE LAH. i WaNna gO zzZzzzZzz LiaOz. But fIRsT, I goT MorE pHOtos.

oKieZ, goOtNighT, SleeP TighT! DunCH leT de Bed Bugs bIte.

2006-04-15T03:29:00.000+08:00

if u guys want to read a cheerful blog, then read no further. You're not going to get any joy out of reading this blog. But then again, you might. You know the saying, 'misery loves company'. maybe my misery is giving people out there pleasure. good for you, at least something gives you happiness. I on the other hand, am feeling down again.

in the past 8 hours, i have

contemplated dropping out of university and throwing myself at the mercy of national geographic,
ate a full bowl of japanese curry and rice even though i didn't want it.
went to the kitchen, searched high and low for my apples but to no avail
cursed and sweared at the people who ate my apples
found my almost empty bottle of jam which I had barely touched.
cursed and sweared at the people who ate my jam
after expanding much energy on cursing, i realise, that it wasn't even my kitchen. Then i realised, it wasn't even my floor. oh, how silly of me.
so i went back to my kitchen, dug out my apples and ate them.

how i wish this was the only thing that happened today. But no, i realise that the person who is supposed to care about me, doesn't. or rather, he does, provided he isn't playing mahjong, or hanging out with friends. It feels weird thinking that you are untouchable and then realising that you actually take a back seat to stupid things like mahjong and friends. for those of you who don't know what mahjong is, it's a card game where the cards are tiles. sometimes, the tiles are made of ivory (yes, how cruel. mahjong is a cruel game.) you mix them around on the table, and when they hit each other, they make the most annoying sound. I do not want to bore you with the details of this boring game. It may be boring to me but, somewhere along the line, it's become more important than me. tragic isn't it?

I'm suprised that even when i texted him and told him i was having a nervous breakdown, my phone remained silent. it's been silent the whole day, and silent it shall remain. Is messaging me back half hearted text messages the best you can do to show me you care? if it is, that's pathetic. an unconcious retard who just went under extensive brain surgery could probably do better than those silly texts you sent me.

Thank God i went jogging this evening. If not for the endorphines flowing through my body, i'd probably be all puffy eyed and sniffling into a soggy, mucus filled tissue. shudder.

when the drinks run out and friends leave, i'm pretty sure my phone will start ringing and love will come pouring in. But till then, do i just wait? Or maybe i should salvage whatever dignity i have left and find happiness somewhere else.

2006-04-12T06:55:00.000+08:00

i think this blog needs a little cheering up. Right now, the only thing that gets me through endless days of studying is fantasising about my summer. I really can't wait. I have grand plans to travel, cruise around with the boyfriend, go on a beach holiday (maybe get my hair braided at the beach), go rollerblading at east coast park, have picnics, barbeques.....! the list goes on and on. I know by the time summer gets here, i probably won't feel like doing half of what i set out to do, but the thought of it now gets my heart racing.

I'm making up a list of places to visit.
tentative places to visit with friends: rome, venice, belgium, prague
tentative places to visit with marcus & co.: thailand, malaysia tour, maldives(?)

2006-04-09T20:30:00.000+08:00

never felt insecure till i met you
i used to be so cute to me.

ah, whatever.

Just had some mouldy bread for lunch. I'm gonna head back down to the basement to do work and I won't come out till I'm done.

Yes, life is looking very bleak.
I'm sad. In the words of michelle's sister, you give me an excuse to cry.

2006-04-04T04:08:00.000+08:00

my heart feels so light right now. after so many monotonous days of studying, I've finally broken the cycle by having a nice long conversation with amy. Ahhh, do u know i love amy? i love love love love love amy!!! we're so good together. i felt so happy after that that everything seemed a little brighter. Plus, bankside dinner was good tonight. Creamy chicken and ribbon pasta...mmmm:) plus, the lunch lady threw in 2 FREE cranberry&white chocolate cookies. Jiaying was hilarious today....i was hooting with laughter throughout dinner. Or was it cos i was happy to begin with? whatever la, i'm so happy right now! ok, i think i've reached my quota for the number of times i've used the word 'happy'. I shall make my exit now. toodles!

2006-04-02T06:48:00.000+08:00

There's nothing much to blog about when every waking moment is spent slouched over books. Thankfully, today wasn't one of them. Started off so, then it went downhill, then very downhill, then it slowly climbed back up.

when i was studying, i couldn't help but notice that the tummy hang over my jeans has reached an all time high. I can't let this go on. Detox here I come!

2006-03-31T05:10:00.000+08:00

So, the mugging has started. I have made a dazzling head start by studying 6 hours in the library today! 6 whole hours! congratulations to me, may this be the start of good things to come.

One of my statistics notes actually says "most students find this hard, but with a good deal of effort you will be able to make sense of it and then you can pat yourself on the back!! Note: the lecturer accepts no responsibility for any injuries caused by over-enthusiastic self-congratulations" haha, funny hor? bah, not so funny when you have 40 lectures to cover.

Anyway, situation over here is improving. My curtain has been fixed (I can finally sleep without the light from the crane outside shining into my eyes) and I have resigned myself to drinking tap water (it's an acquired taste that only few, like myself, can appreciate).

but some things never change. my bloody printer still isn't printing and i'm still fat.

On to happier things, thanks michelle for the czeh wafer rolls and thanks jiaying for the hairclips! love them both ( I mean the hairclips and wafers. haha =))

2006-03-28T20:20:00.000+08:00

i feel like fucking shit right now.

i can't understand math and economics, i can't get my new printer to work, i need to get a new water filter or dehydrate to death, i'm fat, i just quarelled with the marcus, friends are far and few in between, damn it.

a plane just passed my window. It reminds me of what i gave up to come back and study in this fucking cess pit.

hopefully i can stave off my depression and frustration.

2006-03-28T05:04:00.000+08:00

i am dead beat. My 14 hour flight consisted of watching rent for the second, third and fourth time, eyeballing the queer woman who sat next to me, silently cursing the damn man who sat infront of me with his chair reclined all the way back (who also happens to have the worst case of bad airplane hair i've ever seen), reading adrian mole aged 13 3/4, laughing myself to sleep and then waking up with a bad case of oily airplane hair.

Not bad enough?

How about being hit on by a small little south african man (cab driver)? traumatic enough I think. The best part is that, I met the man's mom as well. hah! When we reached bankside, he offered to help bring my lugguage up to my room but being paranoid, i started concocting senarios where he'll hunt me down if he knew my room number. So i refused. I dragged my nauseas ass all the way to the 6th floor while juggling 4 pieces of lugguage. quite a feat i must say.

Wish I could go into more detail. I would love to describe how the queer woman cursed throughout the entire journey and how the cab driver shared with me intimate details of his Japanese ex-girlfriend. But i'm dead beat. Goodnight everyone. hello London.

2006-03-28T02:01:00.000+08:00

I'm blasting music now to stop myself from having an emotional breakdown.

Let's find a bar, so dark we forget who we are.

2006-03-26T14:29:00.000+08:00

and he wonders why I hate talking to him. He has tantrum after tantrum, mood swing after mood swing. His yelling no longer brings me to my knees. Instead of cowering with fear, I stare wide-eyed into his gaping mouth filled with cavities. I think to myself how nice it'll feel to smash a glass right in front of his red face and see his stunned face. I secretly giggle to myself at how silly he looks.

2006-03-22T02:19:00.000+08:00

A huge congratulations to my grandfather who has recently quit smoking! He's been smoking since he was 17. Now, at the ripe old age of 80, he's decided to give his lungs a break. Finally, after 63 years! Better late than never. (Jie, Xiang, and any other family member who reads my blog, can u believe it?!)

on a less thrilling note, someone else I love has picked up smoking.
It is very easy for me to look at strangers on tv or along the street puffing away. I just shrug and say 'if it doesn't bother them, it doesn't bother me'. It's very easy to play it cool and act open minded when it's someone u don't give a fuck about.Hell, I've defended people who smoke. I've snapped at "intolerant" people. I voted for the bankside bar to permit smoking.

I recall lighting a cigarette and wedging it between my lips, deliberating whether to take that first puff. In the end, i stubbed it out and washed the tabacco off my hands. Like I was saying, it's different when it comes to yourself and people u love.

Playing with your stained fingers, I couldn't help but notice that unfamiliar odour you carried. And as I lay my head against your chest, I remembered the times where I would rub my nose into your lightly perfumed shirt and tell you how good you smelled. My heart ached.

Still, I will never tell you what you should do with your life.

2006-03-20T10:48:00.000+08:00

Look at this

this blog skin is ranked number 1 on blogskins.com.

i'm speechless.

2006-03-20T09:40:00.000+08:00

rent is bloody good. it's so refreshing from all the London broadway musicals. London musicals are good, but none of the ones I've seen have actually touched on reality like this one does. ok let me scan through the musicals i've seen, in case I'm generalising....

mamma mia, the producers, chicago, erh.......phantom, les miserables, glorious, woman in white, bombay dreams

yup, I'm right. They aren't very realitsitc albeit entertaining.

I've come to realise something about myself, I like plays, musicals, films, songs, books that are realistic. What do i mean by realistic? I'm not exactly sure. Maybe I can give some examples. I like requeim for a dream, I am sam...ok i can't think of anymore. It's ok if you don't get what I mean, I wouldn't either. Probably the only exception here is disney. But one thing's for sure, chick flicks, lighthearted comedies, punk rock can never make it to my list of favourites. I like them, they are entertatining, but they are just light hearted, silly things that make me feel better from time to time.

I'll be moving this blog soon.

2006-03-18T17:33:00.000+08:00

The bitch is back!

2006-03-16T22:10:00.000+08:00

I should be in a very irritable, snappish mood right now.

The construction outside sounds like a broken lawn mower.
The day is gettting gloomier as we speak.
I just spoilt my dieting plans by eating a blueberry cheesecake and a white chocolate mocha.
my belt is cutting into my fat

But despite all of this, I'm bouncing off the walls. It could be due to the surge of caffeine in my body. Or maybe, just maybe, it's cos I'm going home tomorrow!! Plus, I just found out that they will be showing 'rent' on the inflight entertaininment! I've heard the soundtrack a million times, so i guess the only thing left for me to do is watch it. teehee. teehee.

I'm in an incredibly good mood now, which might annoy some people.

2006-03-15T05:48:00.000+08:00

THIS is really funny. Turn on your speakers for the full effect.

2006-03-12T21:22:00.000+08:00

ah crap. Just when I was about to buy a new handphone, they raise the prices. What rotten luck. I was about to buy a phone for 80 pounds but, the very next day, they raised the price to 228 pounds.

I'm looking at

The Samsung D600. I'm completely in love with it, especially after sung showed me the rainbow coloured numbers. It has a great camera too.

A cheaper alternative to the D600, the D500. (it was initially free, but now it's 60 pounds. Damn me and my procrastinating)

I quite like this one too. They have another one in pink.

It looks nice here, but I don't quite fancy myself carrying such a phone. I find it embarrassing to carry a baby pink handphone at my age. I'd much prefer a sleek, black phone.

I'm currently using an O2 mini. I love it so much, without it I'd be lost (seriosuly, it helps me remember where all my classes are). But the vibrations are so weak that I can never feel it vibrate. My mother goes absolutely bonkers whenever she has to call me 20 times before I pick up.

Alright, enough phone talk, I'm not a techie.

On a brainless note, take a look at THIS. You can put your name on stickers! Ok, I know I'm gonna hit 20 soon, but still!!!!!!!!! I've never had my name printed on anything before. It's not like they sell wristbands or cups with my name printed on it. So even though it's just a cheap thrill, I'm gonna go ahead and print my name on some stickers.

2006-03-11T10:57:00.000+08:00

there's some shrivelled up kee zang (glutinous rice dumplings wrapped in leaves) hanging from my window. I shall leave it up there. Maybe one day, I"ll be insane enough to pluck one off and munch on it like an apple.

gosh, it's week9 already. I've been back in london for 9 bloody weeks! Feels like yesterday that I was complaining about being back in halls while poking at the tasteless bankside turkey breast. where has all the time gone. Just one more week before term ends.

I'm starting to blog alot less. And when I do blog, it's always just random shit. Aren't people tired of reading my crap? I sure as hell am.

When I go back to singapore, I'm gonna head straight down to sngs (my primary school) and eat some wanton, fried rice, and chicken. I've been wanting to eat it since forever. I just hope the wanton stall lady is still there. I haven't been back for 7 years. God I hope she's there. ok, I'm greedy, so what?

I think the lead actor in 'the sopranos' is totally hot. Here's a picture of him:

teehee. hmm, i think my blog needs more eye candy. Oh what the hell, I shall post another picture of him

what did i tell ya. sizzling hot.

Bah, whatever, this is a sickening, pointless post. I think I shall keep up the pointlessness...

i hope to make this weekend a productive one and catch up with my stats (if that's even humanly possible). I should at least try to be hardworking next week so that I will end the term with a bang. Maybe I will even forgive myself for wasting this entire term away.

I was sitting on the bus today. There was another bus infront of the bus I was on and I noticed something pretty unusual. Here, take a look:

Can you make out what it is? It's a sanitary pad stuck onto the back of the bus window. Haha, I thought it was pretty damn funny.

2006-03-10T06:35:00.000+08:00

i just wrote this entire entry on honesty. But I deleted it.

2006-03-08T10:35:00.000+08:00

one of my many photos of blackfriars bridge. It seems to me that no matter how many times I cross river Thames, I can't help but whip out my camera whenever it's a beautiful day. London really makes you appreciate good weather.

aw, why ya lookin' so sad?

gulliver heart fanta

i like this.

2006-03-07T23:18:00.000+08:00

my honeymoon's over. Looks like it's back to reality for me. I have a accounting presetation due in 1.5 hours. wow. Reality is really hitting me hard. Thankfully, I've been blessed with genius group members, so maybe things will turn out alright.

hmm...looks like it's back to the humdrum days of class, lectures and chocolate digestives.

2006-03-02T06:41:00.000+08:00

The past 6 days have been absolutely wonderful. 4 more left to go. I feel like i've been in a gorgeous dream filled with mille feuille, dizzy spells, alcohol, and swinging 70s music.

He's taking a nap now. I wonder if he's dreams about the same things I've been dreaming about. I feel like waking him up now just so he'll make some noise. It seems a little too quiet whenever he's sleeping.

pap tongs

2006-02-28T09:34:00.000+08:00

we look so happy! These guys tricked me so many times today. I'll let them have their fun, but I'll make sure I get the last laugh. muahaha.

twist

2006-02-27T08:31:00.000+08:00

Twisted on destiny, fate and three wishes
We fuck and we fight, someone else does the dishes,
And meantime my memory reminisces and twists,
There was a time when we were filled with laughter,
Haplessly hoping happy ever after,
Did we string up a heart, let it swing from the rafters
And bleed.

There's blood on your legs ,I love you

day 1

2006-02-25T09:04:00.000+08:00

Honeymoon, day 1: Fucking awesome! Slight detour was made for school but, other than that, smooth sailing all the way. My husband is completely knocked out now. I think the luncheon lime did the trick. teehee. Aww, he's had a rough day.

honey and the moon

2006-02-24T07:02:00.000+08:00

dance night was awesome! ahhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wish i was stick thin and could groove like that. I'm dying of envy right now. The way they danced kinda reminded me of my cousin.

I remember a funny incident. I was staying over at her place and she was grooving to the music, and she danced exactly like a guy (in a good way). I was really fascinated as I'm really sick and tired of the ways girls dance. Yes they look sexy. Yes they look attractive. Yes they look like limp dead branches swaying in the wind. So, the way my cousin danced looked so refreshing. I asked her to teach me how to dance like a guy. So she did. And well, surprise surprise, I sucked at it. Bleah. I guess it's a good thing I didn't join dance society afterall.

Xiang, if you're reading this, I know you're dying of ecstasy.

ANYWAY, I have an annoucement to make! I'm going on my honeymoon! Yes!! Starting from tomorrow, I'm gonna be whisked away to a creamy dreamy place. For 10 days, I'm gonna be nose deep in bliss. You guys can't come!

used and tossed aside

2006-02-22T06:34:00.000+08:00

This morning, I spread a generous layer of butter and jam on a slice of heavenly soft and chewy bread. I sunk my teeth into it and as I chewed, I noticed a subtle but revolting meaty taste coming from my deceivingly delicious looking jam sandwhich. It was disgusting.

I brought my relatively new tub of butter to my nose and took a big wiff. I could have vomitted. It smelled like rotton meat. Then I realised, the putrid smell of the communal fridge had marinated my butter. bummer.

Seriously, the fridge smells as though something died in there 3 years ago. Who knows... I bet even if I stuffed a human ear in there, no one would discover it amongst all the expired junk that's stuffed inside. I have done some inspection and I've come to a conclusion that it's the milk that's causing that foul stench. But I can't throw out someone's milk, can I? Ah, the life of a tortured bankside resident.

I finished my Jam sandwhich anyhow.

random pictures

2006-02-21T06:06:00.000+08:00

nothing wakes you up like hot chocolate and a cookie

Blue skies are relatively rare here. But when it appears, it's really beautiful

Did someone say beyonce?

Sung looking like a cool korean rock star. Me looking like a vagrant.

hee. my hair style in 50 years time when I become one of those aunties who go for frequent perms.

First picture of my nose stud.

Sung is so cute!

In you I taste God

2006-02-19T07:40:00.000+08:00

Why does my Johari window say that I'm sentimental? I am not sentimental! not one bit. I took this test, and it said that i'm 70%boy and 30% girl. pfft...so not sentimental and I feel very strongly about this!

hmm, come to think of it, I know what I am and I know what I'm not. But that hasn't stopped me from running away from reality and burrying myself in the arms of self-deception.

But, no matter how hard I try, there are still moments where I come face to face with the raw, unadulterated me. Pretenses, facades, mannerisms crumble into dust and I realise there's no point in hiding. All you can do is stare at yourself point blank.

Sometimes, it's just so hard to like what you see.

This is for those of you who dare. Do it:) No offense will be taken

my chemistry teacher

2006-02-15T13:08:00.000+08:00

i just thought of something really random.

exactly 2 years ago, I was in the chemistry lab. It was the end of chemistry class and everyone was busy stuffing wet test tubes into their bags and packing chemical stained notes into their files. My chemistry teacher ( I can't remember for the life of me what his name is) was at the front of the lab, trying to stuff out brains with last minute information. After awhile, he realised that no one was really listening to him. So, to end off, he said:

"ok, happy valentines day. Don't worry if you have no one to spend valentines day with. No matter what, your chemistry notes will always be there for you. class dismissed."

That got everyone's attention and they giggled to themselves at the funny remark the teacher made.

I, on the other hand, felt uneasy. There in front of me was a man whose entire life consisted of chemistry. He breathed chemistry. He ate chemistry. He drank chemistry. He lived chemistry. At that moment, I imagined him as a teenager, bent over a poorly lit table that was sagging under the weight of chemistry books. I imagined him pouring information into his brain, and finally, at the stroke of midnight, he decides to call it a night. He goes to sleep with chemistry equations swimming in his brain, and a contented smile creeps onto his face.

This thought disturbed me alot.

In retrospect, I was making alot of assumptions. But what if what I had imagined was true? Wouldn't it be horribly sad?

2006-02-15T11:59:00.000+08:00

Happy valentines day everyone! I'm not one of those who particularly enjoys valentines day, but I do think this day is important. It serves as a reminder to all that love does exist. Despite all its screw ups, love is everything it's cracked up to be.

Love comes in all forms. It's so much more than a bouquet of roses, a box of chocolates, poems, a string of kind words and candlelight dinners. I didn't receive any of those things today but, I can safely say, I am loved.

Everyday should be valentines day. But today is a special day that gives hope to people in search of love. I wish you guys the very best. Love is worth fighting for.

I do not know where this surge of optimism came from, but it feels nice to be happy.

anyway, visit this link!
http://kevan.org/johari?name=tinglin
It's just for fun, so do it! :)

splender

2006-02-14T09:04:00.000+08:00

OH MY FUCKING GAWD. Guess what song i'm listening to?! go ahead, guess guess guess!

SPLENDER - I THINK GOD CAN EXPLAIN!

can u believe it?!

it makes me so fucking ecstatic listening to songs I had long forgotten about.
it's funny how songs trigger off the faintest memories burried deep within the nooks and crannies of your brain. My memory of this song was watching the music video on tv and thinking to myself that it had a funny blue tinge and the camera was shooting from a low angle. The funny thing is that I don't even know if the music video is actually like that.

Listerning to the song now, I doubt I would have liked it if this had been my first time listening to it. But there are just some things you love so dearly just because they are from your past. Like spice girls and disney movies.

some things just move you in a way that nothing and noone else can.

Ok, i'm now gonna post something which is totally embarrassing. So shoot me, I'm a sucker for such stuff.

Find a guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot
who calls you back when you hang up on him,
who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the boy who kisses your forehead,
who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats,
who holds your hand in front of his friends,
who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on.
Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you,
and how lucky he is to have you.

Goodbye to the heart with no name.

2006-02-13T20:19:00.000+08:00

I managed to destroy my favourite heart shaped pillow. In case you guys don't remember it, here it is:

A moment of silence please.

I dirtied it with decayed strawberry juice. I washed it but somehow, it never did quite dry properly. It smelled really bad after every wash. I didn't let it go without a fight though. I washed and dried it MANY times. Sometimes, you just have to learn to let go.

Yet, out of the ashes of this tragedy, we shall rise to meet the dawning of a new era! Introducing polka mama:

Isn't she cool?

I received polka mama in the mail a few days ago.
Thanks baby!

you'll never guess

2006-02-09T08:56:00.000+08:00

Guess what I did on impulse today?

I GOT MY NOSE PIERCED! =)

2006-02-06T10:16:00.000+08:00

Well, looks like my grand plan to study my ass off didn't materialise. There were way tooooo many distractions over the weekend, but I had a blast. I refuse to face up to the harsh reality that i've once again squandered all my time away. Hence, I'm up at 2.40am trying to finish my math assignment. I've got to wake up at 8.30am tomorrow and drag myself to school. It's not going to be a pretty sight.

*************************
I can't believe i'm listening to eamon - don't want you back.

Fuck you, you hoe, I dont' want u back

teehee, i remember bouncing in the car, on my way to school every morning, mouthing the words to this song. I couldn't say the word 'fuck' because my mom and little brother would be in the car. Saying the f-word in their prescence would be absolute suicide. But over here, I can sing the song at the top of my lungs and no one gives a fuck.

wax bar

2006-02-05T06:18:00.000+08:00

Wax Bar
Mss organised an event last week. The turn out wasn't as good as expected, but at least we had fun dressing up :)

TODAY: GG OUTING!!

Ah, it was as fun as usual. Our trip down to chinatown for a casual lunch became a whole day affair. I love my gg!

no place to go, but heading for disaster

2006-02-03T10:45:00.000+08:00

I feel like taking a personality test. I need one to tell me who I am. Pathetic isn't it? I'm definitely no longer having puberty, but I don't feel like my hormones have stabalised. My behavior has been all weird and I dont know what's happening. My behavior is very unsettling, even to myself.

Everyone grows, now is a time as good as any to start I guess. I'm scared of what I'm becoming. I never did need to turn to alcohol to make me feel better. And I can already see what my next step is going to be. I need something to steer me in the right direction but I'm so resistant to any kind of help.

I can act happy, but it only goes down well with alcohol.

On a less depressing note, .....................................................................................................................
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........................ =)

:)

2006-02-02T10:01:00.000+08:00

Studying in the library can be so fun!

weirdo

2006-01-30T21:57:00.000+08:00

I've been tagged.

Rule 1: 5 weird or random things about myself

I've never been repulsed by boys. Even when I was a little girl, I only pretended to go 'eeew' when our teacher brought up marriage and boys.I secretly liked the idea of being a wife/mother. But now, I'm not so sure...
I hate beansprouts with a passion. I won't stop till every beansprout has been eradicated from my food. Sometimes, it gets so bad that my food is cold and soggy by the time i'm done picking every single thing out.
I like to burying my hands into a warm, dry, clean load of laundry. It feels so nice! Especially since London is so cold.
I just got a chinese calligraphy painting today that says 'xiao kou chang kai' (be happy) to remind me to smile no matter how bad things get.
i like people who are decisive, headstrong, intelligent, judgemental and opinions agree with mine.

Rule 2: 5 people whom I want them to do the quiz

liz, lu, qing, faezah, lilin.

Rule 3: Next, leave a comment "you are tagged" on their blog and ask them to read your blog for rules.